Gamethread 148: From Twins to Blue Jays

Time: 6:07 a.m. central. Vegas line: -200 TOR / MIN +180

Weather forecast: Clear, comfortable, 20 ° Canadian on the first throw

Opponent’s SB Site: Bluebird Banter

TV: BS North. Radio: Most Canadian stations have call signs starting with C, reasonably enough

Eight-year MLB veteran southpaw Hyun Jin Ryu was one of the most successful KBO players to reach our shores; he was an All-Star in 2019 and started a World Series game in 2018 (the first two for KBO pitchers). He throws all four old school throws plus a cutter, none very hard, has good control, and his best throw is his change. By BRef, his nickname is Monster, for some reason; he wears the cool number 99, made less cool by the Jays Tron dorky number font. He will face Big Mike Pineda. 2021 figures (note the almost exact reversals of ERA and FIP):

This week’s edition of Stuff TwinkieTowners are the few survivors of many I’ve had, when I used to put every Twins gift button on my favorite jersey:

Eventually I stopped doing that because the jersey started to shake like Ramblin ‘Rod’s sweater. Who the hell is Ramblin ‘Rod, you ask? “Ramblin ‘” Rod Anders was the host of an introductory 1970s / 80s children’s cartoon morning show in Portland. The show featured an audience of toddlers in the studio who cheered on every upcoming cartoon and would likely chomp on each other’s chin straps to get Rod’s attention. (Giving her buttons to add on that sweater was part of that sycophancy.) The birthday toddlers had a line in front of the camera, and there was a “smile contest” that won a lucky little SOB one. Chuck’E’Cheese meal or something like that.

Of course, I was part of that studio audience at one point; a friend’s birthday, maybe. None of our friends won the Smile Contest, so the birthday meal took place in a disappointing pizzeria with no audio-animatronics. I’m sure we’ve all complained about this ignominy, because children are monsters.

What shocked and appalled me was that the kids in the studio couldn’t even watch those rotten old cartoons! (Mostly bad Looney Tunes like Woody Woodpecker, IIRC, whatever cheap junk the station had the rights to.) Rod would announce, “here’s another cartoon,” we’d go crazy for the cameras and the panel “applause “. .. then more studio tracks. No cartoons. Only the children at home were able to see cartoons.

I learned on the spot that TV celebrities are a big collection of LIES.

Incidentally, given that “The Simpsons” creator Matt Groening was originally from Portland and had undoubtedly at one point seen the misleading Ramblin ‘Rod, there was speculation that the introductory host of cartoon Krusty The Clown could have been inspired by Anders. This does not appear to be the case; Krusty’s likely doppleganger was an even older Portland TV host, whose character was called “Rusty Nails” suggesting tetanus:

Oh, hey, back to those buttons! As you can see, we have the photo of the twins mainstay from the 2000s, the Canadian born (and briefly a blue jay) Mr. Koskie. What has he been up to lately?

Well, on occasion he continued some of his charity work helping the homeless (Koskie used to do winter evenings as a twin to sponsor coat drives). And, as this exceptional profile of Travis Sawchik from The Score describes, Koskie ran a few gyms, which didn’t go very well. Lately he’s been at a town ball in Loretta, Minnesota with his older sons.

Which brings us to this weird little frustration story from PP’s Bob Sanservere. Apparently, as Koskie was never cut on his last attempt to return to MLB (with the Cubs; he retired before they could cut him), he needed “disposition papers” before he could. be able to play (even amateur ball!) for another American team. Koskie was knocked down by the Cubs and Twins Honchos the Falvine when he asked them for help; Finally, Twins team president Dave St. Peter made contact with non-cigarette butts in the Cubs office, and Koskie was able to play on his sons’ team.

Not mentioned in either article is this 100% ABSOLUTELY TRUE conversation recorded between St. Peter, Thad Levine and Derek Falvey:

DSP: Hey guys, I just wanted to ask you a question about that Koskie Town prom story that he contacted you about. It shouldn’t take long.

LEVINE: Who?

DSP: Corey Koskie. He was part of the team that made the twins fun again at first—

FALVEY: Boo!

DSP: Well, he just wants to play ball in town with his sons—

LEVINE: What the hell is f @% k?

DSP: It’s a peasant tradition. We celebrate it at Target Field in the Town Ball Tavern.

FALVEY Oh, yeah, that thing. Note to self: we need to convert this space into a hot spot for influencers.

LEVINE: Great! Let’s call it the InstaTok Game Room!

FALVEY: You’re awesome!

DSP: You know, I think I’ll just check my old Chicago phone list …

FALVINE: and THEN we’ll trade Berrios! But keep Pineda! Brilliant!

Now, if you’re thinking to yourself, “My Lord, that’s a lot of padding for a picture of old, dingy baseball buttons,” well, first of all, don’t get the Lord involved in that. But, secondly, you are right. Yet, hey, the Twins’ season is almost over on Fridays!

And, next week, look for a contest. Where you can earn stuff! It’s actually quite new! I mean, not super new or having any collector’s value, that would be against the spirit of this series. Newer than my stuff, however!

Queues are posted if I get home before 5am which is unlikely as I have to go around handing out “Mauer Luv 4 Guv” buttons among her many, many mistresses in my job as as an unpaid activist for his race in 2022.